you can't make a new old friend

_{Chad Roberston Zombie}

This from my wise friend, The Art Teacher, who dragged me to a wine bar tonight and whom I, in turn, dragged to the local bookstore so I could buy a used copy of The Day Of The Locust, the next book on my self-prescribed LA reading list. The Art Teacher also quoted fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, but it was in an entirely different context which bears little relevance to what I will be getting into here.

We were talking about life. About growing old and feeling young. About how to greet each day and grab the most you can from it. How to keep passionate in the midst of banality, how to hang on to your values in the midst of a valueless culture, how to be strong and defiant and unique and courageous even though you are constantly doubting yourself, your ideas, and the outfit you donned when you were still feeling frumpy in the morning. Today was another tough day for me. A crying-on-the-freeway, getting-lost-in-the-valley, irritating-errand-running and wondering-what the-hell-I-am-doing-with-my-life day. Nothing that a well-priced Malbec and a conversation with a fellow comrade couldn't cure. But curing I needed. And it took someone who understood me unequivocally, who could call me on the kind of bullshit I slung around daily, and knew, too, when to shut up and just let me bitch. An old friend, you could say.

We are both having a hard time in this city. Even after three days where I felt semi-victorious, somewhat accomplished, and mostly loyal to the things I agreed were important to me, it only took one morning of another marine layer, 3o minutes of driving in traffic, and the growing suspicion that I was perhaps starting to PMS, for the good intentions to go straight down the toilet and the dam to burst open.

I know I complain a lot around here. And I am sure you get that that is the point? Right, mom? You needn't worry.

BUT:

relationships can make you feel insecure

old friends are hard to make

you can be whomever you want to be in a new town

profiteroles are one of The Art Teacher's favorite desserts

patience is not one of my strong suits


That was sorta the gist of our conversation. And, I must say, it put me in a better mood. So thank you, too, for listening. I feel even better now.