going, going, gone

Today I officially left Mudville and drove the 5.5 hours down to my new home in Suck City. On the way, I listened to Springsteen's Nebraska, and though it wasn't the Jersey turnpike, nor the badlands which I passed, I did feel the expansiveness of the universe as I sailed down south, a coupla bags of groceries beside me, a half dozen of my favorite plants on the floor, and three suitcases thrown into the bed of my truck. Now I'm not gonna make any disclaimers about The Boss, you either know, or don't know, the brilliance of that album, but thar's a traveling album if there ever was one. I mean, c'mon, look at the freakin album cover for chrissakes. When Bruce howls my skin starts to crawl, and I'm thankful I'm not listening to this at 3AM, driving down the highway, with nothing but a cup of gas station coffee to keep me warm.

Well, the mind starts to wander when you travel, particularly so when one is leaving a place for which one--okay me--has oceans of memories, friends, and fond feelings for in general. Particularly so when the future still seems so distant, like the horizon you can never quite reach, or so indecipherable, like the disappearing ink bought from the back of a comic book. For a while I am without my stuff, not yet in my new place, and traveling back and forth. You could call it limbo. I would be lying if I said I wasn't afraid to put down roots some place else. I would be lying if I said I could completely uproot myself from my last home. I would be lying if I said I know what the hell I am doing. But again, sometimes the important thing is just doing.

I wanted to say goodbye to the people I will miss most: to The Bachelorette who is going through a real tough time and with whom I agreed to go on some kind of bold adventure when we finish the projects that are taking us forever to finish, to My Second Favorite Ex who was also my closest neighbor, the brokest motherfucker I know and subsequently the most sentimental drunk, to The Amazing Family who took me in when I most needed to be taken in and who have presented the most hopeful case of love, decent parenting and exemplorary being I know. But I can't seem to do it. And I am hoping I really don't have to.

Along with the expansiveness of the universe, the other thing I was thinking was this: if two people (energy) are traveling at the same rate (velocity) towards one another, how long before the inevitable (force) happens? Is there a quadratic formula for love? If so, what bearing would distance have on this equation? And finally, if you go too fast do you become a black hole?