TEFKAFE

TEFKAFE enjoying a cupcake

Favorite Ex has responded that he does not, in fact, appreciate his moniker. When asked why he did not like to be referred to as Favorite Ex, he could not put a name to it, other than to repeat I don't like it over and over. He also took offense to being quoted in the blog. He would like it to be known that he does not believe he ever used the word zingers in conversation with me whether by telephone, email, text message, instant message or in person.

I showed Favorite Ex—who will now be referred to as The Ex Formerly Known As Favorite Ex—a first draft of my creative non-fiction piece for the Modern Love column. Not surprisingly, TEFKAFE was unencouraging. Sex and the City and Oprahesque were two unkind phrases I heard. In fact, if you are a woman and a writer, there is possibly nothing more damaging one can hear other than possibly invoking the name of Bridget Jones and her goddamn diary. I guess TEFKAFE did not understand the non-fiction aspect of the piece as he kept saying things like that never happened!, you did that? and I can't imagine him saying that. TEFKAFE has always been a tough critic, but at least he read it from beginning to end and I guess that's saying something. Just not sure what.

Speaking of TEFKAFE, he is coming out for a visit next month. And bringing his new girlfriend. Supposedly, they're mad for each other, or some such nonsense and for the first time since, well, since we stopped going out, I will have to share his presence with another. Sure, I am happy for him, and yes, it's about time (six years!) and I bet she is wonderful (he has great taste in women), but, I am just not sure I am up to the challenge. You know, what with being recently d-i-v-o-r-c-e(d) and all. It's bad enough I hardly ever get to see him since he lives on the opposite coast and now instead of hunting down obscure Chinese Islamic food in the Sunset with me, he's going to be busy giving her a tourist's welcome to his old stomping ground.

At least I know for the week or so he's around I'll eat well. I'll probably see some good movies. I'll snort out loud and choke on whatever I happen to be eating/drinking. I'll walk a lot. I'll get into 3 or 4 heated arguments. I'll damn him at least once. And then, as soon as he leaves, I'll be checking Jet Blue for flights back east.