tonight the bottle let me down

Dear diary,
today, yesterday and tomorrow no one is/would/will go with me to the bob dylan and merle haggard show. if i am honest with myself it is only merle i really want to see and i would like to be close enough to see the yellow of his eyes. and so what if the tickets cost $66 a pop? what if i never get to see him goddammit? what is so wrong with my friends that they are not willing to shell out the cash and do not understand the significance of this monumental occasion? what if he dies soon like johnny and waylon, whom i didn't get to see neither. what, I ask, is wrong with these friends i have chosen? why have they abandoned me in my darkest hour ? why am i sitting here with a bottle of maker's mark, trying to remember the words to white line fever and no one to accompany me on the gee-tar?