daddy, daddy you bastard, I'm through

Q: What weighs over a ton, is 10 feet high, made of lead paint, and devours your life for eight years?

A: A rose.

Well, not any rose, but “The Rose,” a monumental painting which completely consumed Bay Area artist Jay DeFeo’s life and severely damaged her health just as she was on the cusp of national recognition as a leading figure in the San Francisco Beat scene.

Bruce Conner, artist and close personal friend of DeFeo, documented the removal of “The Rose” from Fillmore Street in his intimate and melancholy film, “The White Rose.” Conner, who still lives and works in San Francisco, recently gave Bancroft correspondence concerning his and DeFeo’s frustrated efforts to conserve and find a permanent home for her colossal masterpiece.

Conner's film, silent and shot on a hand cranked Bolex, stutters and starts, much how I imagine the process was for making "The Rose" all those damn hard years.

How can something be so full of despair and hope at the same time?