14 reasons

that 14-year-olds rule

1. they will tell you if you say something really, really dumb--immediately--by groaning loudly and mercilessly and rolling their eyes. for example don't be saying shizzle around them.

2. they will ask you questions that you can actually answer like, "ok, so what does wake and bake mean?"

3. they complain about all the dumb things they have to memorize in school and you can be thankful you've already paid those dues.

4. at 14 there is a wide range of emotional maturity in their classes. you can hear vivid accounts about boys who lick their hands and try to touch everyone or teen hootchies who make it onto the jerry springer show.

5. their idea of a fun time is going out with the specific intention to irritate tourists...or just anyone really.

6. nothing impresses them, so don't even try.

7. and that's why it's cool when they just call you up and wanna hang out.

8. they talk to themselves or they say what they think or they mean what they aren't really saying but you get the picture anyways.

9. it is a time of high drama and utter boredom.

10. they are pretty damn silly like they had just eaten a bunch of pot brownies. and maybe they have.

11. P.E. and all exercise is to be avoided at all costs.

12. you can turn them on to music like le tigre that will definitely annoy their mothers and for which they will forever be indebted to you.

13. they are just way, way cooler than you ever were or will ever be.