I promise this is gonna be a good one

OK, perhaps I lie.

The parents are in town for approximately 30 hours on The Annual Daughter Pilgrimage. I guess I should be lucky they aren't the kind of folks who will actually want to stay with me, meet any of my friends, or, heaven forbid, ask me how I'm doing.

Tangent 1.
Spent the entire day listening to Joe Frank and cleaning the house in preparation. If any of you grew up in LA as I did, you well know Joe Frank. I first discovered him as a bored teenager, driving the vast LA freeways, and soon found the antidote to my listlessness. The mysterious voice, those elaborate yarns and his dark, dark humor, ah, heaven. I would say he has more to do with who I became than all 12 years of Catholic School. This about sums it all up perfectly: A Winter Love Story. Or go here and scroll down to Joe.

Tangent 2.
Rent-a-German. C'mon you know you need one!

Adam G., 48 (San Francisco):
"It was awesome! Having a German at the office for a week was a huge success! Since then, my relationship with my co-workers has improved big time! I'll definitely do it again- It was, like, oh my god, this is so it!"

Tangent 3 and then I'm hauling off to bed.
At dinner with the parents and we were discussing getting massages at the fancy hotel they are staying in.

mom: I've never had a massage.
me: You've never had a-?!
mom: For 50 minutes?! What if it hurts?
me, pointing at dad: And you don't like anyone touching your feet?
dad: Yes, together, we make one fucked up person.

Perhaps the secret to their success?