Since when is pfft a word? now slightly re-edited
I had the pleasure of commiserating with another unmarried, recently-dumped, hasn't-produced-any-children female friend. I'm telling you, we are hard to come by these days.
We swapped humiliating stories over Belgian beer and oysters.
Me: The ex came by to finally haul off the last bit of his furniture. In exchange, he left behind: a substantial amount of dust where the furniture was, a bag of shoes he told me I could throw out and some loose change spilled all over the rug. Lucky me. I'm rich in dust bunnies and spare change.
She: He dumped her one night after they'd gone out to a nice dinner, engaged in pleasant conversation and returned to his apartment for snogging. Then he simply said that he "didn't find her that interesting anymore."
Me: My mom who was visiting recently, told me she would consider giving me the money she'd set aside for my wedding.
She: He picked her up at a bar mitzvah with the winning line, "Nice skirt!"
She: The last 7 men she dated have all married the next person they dated.
Me: I just got an evite to the wedding of the person I dumped so I could date the guy who just dumped me.
It went on and to keep at least some shred of dignity, I'll have to leave the rest at the bar. As we were leaving the bar at an hour far too early to save any face, we saw a faded old sign for fun busses to Reno. We pictured ourselves on that bus, side by side with the seniors, shipped into Reno for a night of bingo. At least, we could laugh at that.
art by Richard Prince
We swapped humiliating stories over Belgian beer and oysters.
Me: The ex came by to finally haul off the last bit of his furniture. In exchange, he left behind: a substantial amount of dust where the furniture was, a bag of shoes he told me I could throw out and some loose change spilled all over the rug. Lucky me. I'm rich in dust bunnies and spare change.
She: He dumped her one night after they'd gone out to a nice dinner, engaged in pleasant conversation and returned to his apartment for snogging. Then he simply said that he "didn't find her that interesting anymore."
Me: My mom who was visiting recently, told me she would consider giving me the money she'd set aside for my wedding.
She: He picked her up at a bar mitzvah with the winning line, "Nice skirt!"
She: The last 7 men she dated have all married the next person they dated.
Me: I just got an evite to the wedding of the person I dumped so I could date the guy who just dumped me.
It went on and to keep at least some shred of dignity, I'll have to leave the rest at the bar. As we were leaving the bar at an hour far too early to save any face, we saw a faded old sign for fun busses to Reno. We pictured ourselves on that bus, side by side with the seniors, shipped into Reno for a night of bingo. At least, we could laugh at that.
art by Richard Prince
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