the crying log

from Miranda July's Getting Stronger Everyday

The young-uns here at work have decided to post a crying log on a dry-erase board for public perusal. Eagerly, I was one of the first to sign up. It is my humble opinion that people do not cry enough and, if I am honest with myself, those people are made up of mostly men. A crying log affords the same opportunities that a dream journal affords. With a dream journal, you start remembering your dreams. A crying log, ergo, could help people cry and, since crying is so very cathartic, the world, or at least my workplace, would be a much better place.

Upon closer exploration, however, I discovered there were many flaws to the workplace crying log. For example, people started making up rules. Apparently, crying during movies didn't count as it wasn't really crying about oneself and someone else suggested that crying after a bad haircut might not be serious enough to include on the log. Furthermore, I detected more than just a whiff of sarcasm as entry #2just below mine stated that the person cried every Friday. All this to say, I am going to start my own damn crying log as it really is an excellent idea!

Now, I am the kind of person who saves every missing child flyer that comes through the mail slot. Yes, it's true. So a crying log is right up my alley. I love a list. I love a permanent record. I love a solid chart than can easily be converted to any number of illustrative graphs. I am not sure any of this will make me a better person, but both you and I, can learn a little bit more about who I really am. Plus, I am running out of things to blog about.

So.
Here goes.

May 3, 2005
Casey cried uncontrollably throughout the evening. And yes, a movie was involved. The movie in question, Me, You and Everyone We Know, was so good, so heartachingly sweet and so made by a younger and far more talented woman than I that the whole experience was quite devastating. In a good way. Casey cried some more on the drive home and once again later in bed.

April 21, 2005
Casey cried uncontrollably throughout the evening. And yes, a movie was involved. The movie in question, Closer, reminded Casey that people in relationships can be very cruel to each other, even when they resemble Jude Law and Julia Roberts. In this case, she didn't actually cry during the movie (so it counts!) but after she had downloaded that damn song they insisted on playing multiple times throughout it. She continued playing the song for the rest of the evening, moping around her house while intermittently hugging her pillow. For those who are concerned, no scotch was involved in this incident.

April 15, 2005
Casey cried uncontrollably throughout the day while staying at her mother's house in Los Angeles. And no, a movie was not involved. It was her sister's birthday and everyone was downstairs enjoying themselves, being happily married, loving their adorable children, and being loved back unconditionally in return, when Casey simply could not take it anymore. She had to lock herself in the bathroom at least 3 times that day and cry while staring at herself in the mirror. This was quite sobering and made it especially hard to adjust to the bright Los Angeles sun when exiting the bathroom.

The average I believe is about once a week. And these are the patterns for analysis thus far: I cry during movies, when listening to National Public Radio, in the midst of long drives, when I see old people crossing the street, when stuck in really bad traffic, and occasionally during sex.