and out of nowhere there appears a roommate

3 Women, Robert Altman

A potential roommate appeared at my front door, bearing the fair name, Bonnie. With my overactive imagination, I pictured long blonde tresses, a certain pastoral demeanor and a hearty enthusiasm for helping out in the yard. In my head, she was comfortably moved in, cooking elaborate country-style meals, and instructing me in the fine arts of clogging. She opened the door and a bright light streamed in behind her. She was actually glowing. And then the door shut behind her.

I was a little suspicious when she blurted out that she was currently living out of a residential hotel, that the place she had been going to move into fell apart and that she only had 6 boxes to her name. But then again, there isn't a lot of storage space, and what the hell are my other options? From the start, she made it very clear that she was interested in the room and hoped I could make a decision within a couple of hours. She was beginning to remind me of Shelly Duvall in The Shining, prim and pert, yet wide-eyed and helpless. Whereas I thought I had been desperate, one look into her eyes and I discovered the true meaning of panic.

Any other person would have realized this as a perfect point to begin negotiations. How many meals a week would she be willing to cook? How little time would she spend in the living room? Could she get her hands on a Tivo? I guess I'm just not any other person and, well, Shelly Duvall has always had a soft spot in my heart. Fair our Bonnie was not, companionable perhaps, but willing to rent the room, you betcha!