the perfect roommate

The perfect roommate hails from the Midwest--Cedar Falls, to be precise. Being from the Midwest, he has impeccable manners and a mild yet friendly disposition. He is young, of the bright-eyed and bushy-tailed variety, but since a recent transplant, does not carry a lot of baggage with him. He does, however, bring a massage chair as he is certified and as his forbearers were certified before him. He loves to shop for groceries and doesn't mind sharing as he prefers to buy his muesli in bulk.

This morning the perfect roommate makes the perfect pancakes and offers them for sharing. This is a particularly sweet gesture as we had been kept awake all night by a karoake machine and some very difficult R & B songs that apparently needed to be mastered by dawn. The perfect roommate--on only his second night in the room--does not seem to mind and, in fact, claims he is a deep sleeper particularly after a glass of red wine.

The perfect roommate brings home perfect loaves of bread from the fancy deli in which he works. The perfect roommate does not seem to mind that I moved my entire office into the dining room or that I hold business-like meetings there. The perfect roommate does not watch TV, but is curious about my Cassavetes box set and is polishing off the DVDs in his room so as not to bother me.

The perfect roommate does not seem to mind hearing my litany of charges against his gender--to be specific, a certain ex, a certain bachelor, and a certain single daddy. He deftly fields my most earnest inquiries about his species, and although much younger than the men in question, finds a convincing way to put a positive spin on the calamitous events circumventing my life.

The perfect roommate invokes a certain mothering instinct in me, resulting in a gathering of bedding, towels, curtains, books, and furniture for his taking. The perfect roommate talks on the phone in his room, listens to music of which I approve, albeit quietly, and refuses the extra shelf in the medicine cabinet as unnecessary. The perfect roommate is all around the perfect person to come home to at the end of the day, exchange pleasantries with, and then part ways.

And the most perfect thing about the perfect roommate is that he is perfectly moved in.