my day as a roller coaster ride

Wake up. Looks bright out. No wait--it is fuckin nice out! Drive to work. The radio announces Terri Schiavo's death. Mood darkens slightly. But there is hardly any traffic! Drink more coffee. Mood begins to brighten. Arrive at work.

Work. The women at work understand it is now spring. They are wearing skirts! Strappy sandals! Bright colors with floral patterns! But wait--they are all younger. And thinner. With perfectly french-manicured toe nails. I am not yet prepared for this. Vow to go home and shave legs, wax eyebrows, loose 10 pounds. Depression. Confusion. Should I get bangs again? Maybe that will solve all problems! Confer with gals at work and they agree: bangs!

Lunch break. Go to the farmer's market. There are strawberries! The first of the season! But still too expensive. Instead buy fava beans. Think about making a pasta with the fava beans. Know that they will take forever to shell. But it will be worth it!

Work is over. Drive to meet a girlfriend for art-watching and dinner. Start thinking about finances. Finding a roommate. The haircut appointment to have foxy bangs again. Gripping depression in conjunction with severe cramping. Sudden recollection that may have just taken 6 Ibuprofen by accident. Meant only to take 3! Fleeting panic that may have just killed myself! Arrive at destination. Can't find parking. Admit defeat and park in the over-priced lot.

Talk with girlfriend. Commiserate over never going out. So glad we decided to finally do this! Look at great art! See video installation and think: I could do this myself. This could be new calling! Love this stuff! Think more about why I don't do it. Feelings of insecurity tinged with envy.

Dinner. Where to go? Craving for sushi. Punk rock local secret sushi place? No wait! Immediate service! Loud music and raucous clientele! Abalone in season! More sake! More raw fish! Catching up! Mariachi band now playing in punk rock local secret sushi place! We'll start our own band! I can play the keyboards and sing off-key in spanish! She can play the marimbas and the clarinet! We will be called the cupcakes!

After dinner. Walk in hip neighborhood. Many kids but also many crackheads. Obviously, spring! Go to Indian ice-creamery. Mango ice-cream! Cardamom rose ice-cream! More walking in hip neighborhood. But it's so early. But we're so tired. Decide to drive home.

Come home. Feed the cat. Check emails. Write list of things to accomplish for tomorrow's day off. Cramping continues. Self-reflection. Introspection. Slight anxiety about all that needs to happen on day off. Compulsion to write in blog. Guilt if not entered into daily. Sleep deprivation. Dehydration. Typing skills slipping. Exhaustion wins. Turn in for evening.